Alternatively titled, "How to Make Sure No One Knits for You Again. Ever."
Late last spring, my younger brother begged me to make him a hoodie. We looked through several pattern books, and he settled on Under the Hoodie by Kristin Spurkland, from Stitch 'n' Bitch. Yes, it was written as a woman's pattern but that wasn't really an issue. It's a simple, boxy pullover with a hood. He wanted it in a solid color and chose Berroco Ultra Alpaca in Pea Soup, so I got started and over the course of two weeks while I was also writing my Masters Thesis, I cranked out this sweater and mailed it off to him with the express understanding that all he had to do for me in exchange was take a couple of photos with him wearing it so I could see how it looked.
Well, he put it on and declared that it was too short, even though I had measured him and knit the sweater to his specs. My knitting brother was nice enough to order more yarn, pick up stitches near the bottom of the sweater, and knit a couple more inches onto the bottom. As far as we know, he still hasn't worn the thing. When I was in town to help my parents move back in October, the sweater arrived in the mail from our brother and The Ungrateful One didn't even try it on. It lay draped over the back of a chair in the basement the entire time I was there.
When I was in town for Christmas I tried again to get him to wear the sweater for photos, but I was continuously rebuffed. My knitting brother reports that he once made a scarf (per request) for The Ungrateful One and the only time he has seen it since he finished it, it was crumpled up into a ball in the corner of the bedroom, next to the radiator.
By contrast, when I was in town in October one of my sisters was praising my knitting so much that I gave her my Mini Clapotis, and then spent the next two months knitting up scarves and leg warmers for her that she raved over repeatedly. I just got a card in the mail from her today, thanking me AGAIN for all the beautiful things I made for her.
Guess who will be getting more knitted items for her birthday in a couple of weeks?
Guess who will never be getting a hand-knitted item from me ever again?