Problem #16: The garbage disposal does not work. The landlord's response when I told him? "Sometimes you have to take a broomstick..."
Problem #17: We were given only one key for the mailbox. It's one of those group thingies shared by the whole cul de sac. Problem is that the landlord forgot which box was ours and never called me back to let me know. Once I called him and got an answer, another problem appeared: the lock is old and dirty and probably bent inside. I just spent 10 minutes up there trying to get our key in the lock so we can get our freaking mail. No dice. Landlord told us last week that he was going to replace the lock. We're still waiting.
Problem #18: No doorbell. It's just gone. It's one of those battery-operated things with no wires that you just stick on the wall. Apparently the previous tenant removed it to replace the batteries...and then lost it. Landlord told us weeks ago that he was replacing it but...
Problem #19: I was cleaning the kitchen cupboards when I found the doorbell. Yay! Problem is there were so many bug carcasses in those cabinets that I am completely unwilling to put any food inside unless it is sealed in a snap-loc container. That means another trip to Target. We've already been there every day this week.
Problem #20: We started out with hot water in the shower, which quickly disappeared over the week. My shower this morning was so cold I was shivering. I scouted around and located the water heater in an outdoor cabinet. It was turned off. Gee, thanks Landlord Man. No electricity and no hot water? Way to do your freaking job.
Update: The Brain and I spent all yesterday evening dumping 4-pound boxes of baking soda on the carpet and then finally vacuuming and putting together our bedroom furniture. We even managed to get the couch set up so we can have a place to sit, and hooked the tv up so we could flop on the couch and turn our brains off for a while. So of course when I called the landlord this morning to reiterate the carpet problem, he finally admitted that he never actually asked the previous tenants if they had cleaned the floors--he just assumed they had. The end result is that he is having someone over tomorrow to shampoo the carpets. This means that we have to cram ALL of our belongings into either the kitchen or the bathroom. Tonight. This oughta be good.
I also told him how upset we were that he doesn't have a washer for us yet. Apparently he is scouting around town trying to find the cheapest used washer he can. I told him we need to do our laundry and we're tired of waiting. He said he could bring over his own washer to let us use until he finds a replacement. WTF?!? Just buy a freaking washing machine!!! Or hell, give us a cut on the rent and we'll rent one ourselves!