Monday, July 25, 2011

Apartment Update

Things have settled down a lot here in the jungle. The major things have been taken care of. I totally pulled on my Big Girl Pants (tm) and called Landlord Man to tell him that the carpet still smelled and I was waking up with headaches. Apparently the smell-hating force is strong in me because two days later we had brand new, non-stanky carpet in the bedroom. It is SOOOOOO much better now.

The new carpet doesn't quite match the old carpet but I could care less. I'm so happy to have new carpet that I don't really care. Just add it to the list of quirks in this place. Carpet Man noticed that there is a seam running down the middle of our living room. He offered to bring a strip of the new carpet in to replace it. Thus ensued a comical back-and-forth between us wherein I kept insisting that the strip wouldn't match the old carpet, and he would say things like, "Yes. Is the same." while pointing to the new, mis-matched carpet he had just installed. I finally told him to check with Landlord Man and waved him out the door.

(The following photo was manipulated with Photoshop. I did not actually let him "fix" the seam in the living room carpet.)

Other delightful "quirks" about our new place:

The backsplash in the bathroom isn't actually attached to the wall. I found this out the first time I cleaned the bathroom. Apparently propping pieces of granite against a wall is good enough.

The deadbolt on the back door does not quite match up to its hole in the door frame. This means that the door isn't locked at all, even if you think it is.

Everywhere you look there are screws holding things together. That's all well and good, but these screws were only sunk halfway in. Putting in a window? Who has time to sink the screws? Halfway is good enough! Hanging a curtain rod? Leave the screws sticking out! It's easier to remove them later! Installing sliding closet doors? You didn't want to open those, did you?

We also seem to live next door to a compound for shrieking children, overseen by an old Mexican woman who loves her polka.

And then there is the monster in the canyon. Every so often, and usually at night, our house is visited by a snarling, growling creature thrashing around in the underbrush. It's all very Lost.

Other things are bustling along here as well. I have completed my top-secret project and have been back to working on things I can actually talk about. I have a backlog of FOs that need to be photographed, so I may have a marathon FO post coming soon.


Yarndude said...

1. What the hell kind of person thinks those carpets are the same?

2. So your bedroom is better, but doesn't the carpeting in the rest of the apartment smell, too?

3. None of the outlet/light switch plates are screwed in in my apartment. They're just placed over the outlet and fall off from time to time.

4. Let me know when you identify the monster. It could be El Chupacabra.

Yarndude said...

I forgot to mention that I love how the seam patch in the living room isn't even cut straight. It's a nice touch.

ccr in MA said...

I think that a colorblind person might not see the difference between the two sides of the living room carpet, but I can't believe anyone thinks the stripe matches!

This saga could serve as a warning to renters. Being an owner has major annoyances too, but landlords are a different sort of beast. Yikes!

Anonymous said...

Are you sure this apartment is worth your efforts to live there? Get everything fixed so you can go back to important things like knitting!!!!


Jacey said...

You are hilarious, Clumsy. I heart you and your quirky apartment stories. The missing grout is super classy.

Dana KBS said...

Way to look on the bright side. :)

Cookie said...

Maybe they were the same once upon a time but now, however, they are so not the same.


pacalaga said...

Monster Lives Here needs to be the next installment of Hyperbole and a Half.
I think you should make the carpet guy patch that strip with the nonmatching carpet, then add random stripes on either side to make it "go".

Free Range Chick said...

I guess the good news is that you are renting. Imagine if you had bought the place and were discovering all these secrets.

At least some things are getting better. It sure would of been nice if Landlord Man just replaced all the carpet.