Sunday, August 21, 2011

24 Hour Polka People

Yesterday was a looooong day at the shop. Saturdays are normally pretty busy, but this one was unusually so. During the past couple of weeks we have been flooded with people who need help with their projects, but yesterday we were flooded with people who wanted their yarn wound. I was cranking away at that ball winder for HOURS. People were waiting in a line three deep to have their yarn wound, rather than go home and do it themselves or bring the yarn back on a slower day. It was a little ridiculous.

I like winding yarn. Truly, I do. And I'm happy to do it for you if you come into the shop. It's part of the job but it can also be meditative and sometimes it's fun to watch the colors stream off the swift and onto the ball winder. But here's a tip from the friendly girl at your local yarn shop, who is always happy to see you (really!) and help you choose yarn or fix your project:

Please, for the love of god, when the store is packed with people and several of them are waiting to get their yarn wound, and I have just finished winding your four skeins of Malabrigo Lace, do not say: "Thanks! I have a ball winder and swift at home but it's just so much easier when someone else does it for me!"

I would rather not know. I would rather think that I just saved you hours of tangled agony as you tried to wind the yarn yourself by hand. Really and truly, keep your mouth shut. It would be a mercy.

Speaking of mercy, the asshats across the canyon have finally turned off their polka music after 17 straight hours of hell. What started as a seemingly innocent party yesterday evening morphed into an increasingly humorous few hours of drunk Mexican polka karaoke. (I kid you not. Polkaoke, anyone?) But as it stretched well into the wee hours, I was starting to get angry. Party central is two blocks over and that damn tuba could reach me through our closed windows and doors and my high-tech hot pink earplugs. I finally called the cops at 9:30 this morning. They said they had already received noise complaints about that location but no one had been able to get out there yet. Seriously? The music plays for SEVENTEEN HOURS and the cops, who are 6 blocks away, btw, cannot get over there to tell them to shut it?

I don't know what's worse: the fact that I was kept awake all night by polka music, or the fact that I have morphed into the kind of person who calls the cops at 9:30 in the morning (!!!) when the music is too loud. In my defense, I was already exhausted by winding all that yarn yesterday so the sleepless night didn't help.

Also: I'm still knitting. I'm just really bad at taking photos of it in a timely manner. Plus some of it is top-secret so I can't show you anyway. (Do I sound like a badass secret knitting agent yet?) But here are photos of some socks I completed recently:

Purple socks: Twisted Flower Socks, by Cookie A
Yarn: The Woolen Rabbit Pandora, part of the 2011 yarn club

Orange Socks: Vilai, by Cookie A
Yarn: Malabrigo Sock in Terracota

OK, I know it looks like I have cankles but I DO NOT. It's just the angle of the camera. Or something. Use your imagination.


pacalaga said...

Oh honey. You start calling at 10pm or whenever your city ordinance says to STFU, and you call the cops every half an hour until the get someone out there. (And also shout STFU across the canyon. It won't help but it will make your neighbors giggle.)
I hope you gave that Malabrigo woman a death stare.

Cookie said...

Love that purple sock!

I never told you this, but if you tell the cops that you're willing to get your weapon and go take care of the party people yourself, they WILL find someone to send over and shut them down. Not that I know anything about EVER calling the cops about a noise complaint.

And I am so truly sorry about the music. I grew up being forced to listen to that crap and family gatherings and I will never understand why the Mexicans like that stuff.


Julie said...

Ha ha! I wound my Flicker the other night (finally, yay!) and I was too lazy to get my booty off the couch and get my swift and winder out and set them up. I resorted to the good ole, put the hank around my feet on the ottoman and lean forward to unwind a few rounds at a time!

I wish I would knit myself a pair of socks, I think they look so fabulous with Danskos. I'm afraid I won't like them after all of that time! (I could never stand to wear those knit slippers that were popular in the 80s because the yarn hurt the bottoms of my feet.)

Kristen said...

loud music is one of my pet peeves--just because YOU like it doesn't mean the ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD does! and 17 hours of polka music--were they torturing someone for information?

Anonymous said...

Love the orange color!

Jess said...

Sorry about the loud music. It is one of my worst pet peeves.... sometimes people lack common sense and just don't think about their surroundings.
Love the purple sock!

Anonymous said...

This just gets better and better. I like Cookie's solution. Of course, you would have to be ready to be called in to service when they need an "extra gun" er I mean hand; and, now that I know you can be called in to service, I promise to wind all my own yarn. :)

Linda (the one that isn't JD)

Hilary said...

Polkaoke!! Hilarious (the idea of it, not the being kept up all night by it)! I hope you can get some rest now that their polkaoke marathon is over. And at least you have some gorgeous socks to distract you.

CrookedKnitter said...

Love those socks!

Jacey said...

Oh, goodness. Seriously? Polka? Wow. Sounds like a nightmare. I'm sorry you've had to endure that, although maybe Kristen has a point with her torture comment... And I agree. That lady should have kept her mouth shut about the winding.

Anonymous said...

Well, you know the saying: Common sense is not so common.
The socks are pretty, I especially like the purple one.

Yarndude said...

There was a reason I didn't comment on this when I first read it, but I don't remember why. Oh well. That sucks that your canyon friends can't play tasteful music like Shostakovich or Debussy all through the night. I'm surprised you didn't call the cops sooner. And nice socks!

Free Range Chick said...

I have Cookie A's book but the only sock of her's I've made are the Monkeys. These are beautiful.

Next time the music is too loud and the cops take their time you should say that you heard popping like gun shots or something. I bet they would be there in no time.

BTW: I have a swift, but no winder. I love going into the shop and winding my own yarn. I do it really slow so the yarn doesn't stretch. It's one of my favorite things to do.